The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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