You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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