No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize