we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize