i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
