btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
