member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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