She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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