he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
