We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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