11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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