no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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