He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
