i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
