I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize