How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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