i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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