guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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