How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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