oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
