Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
