i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
