I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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