But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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