Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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