I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
