I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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