i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
