I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
