So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
