Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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