he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
