I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
