drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
