I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
