I'm lost and stupid without you.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
