Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My balls are so social today.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize