okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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