someone owes me an orgasm
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
