i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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