so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
