i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Drake has all the answers
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
