Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
