My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
