I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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