Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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