The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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