he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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