in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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