And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
