This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
