I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
