We won't sleep together?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
