Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
