Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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