Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize